Unplugged from the Matrix

when I was 19, I unplugged myself from the matrix by accident on purpose by extremely over dosing myself on acid, LSD. This life-altering, extreme experience cannot really accurately be explained & it rearranged my brain & reality.
It basically defragmented, formatted, & partitioned my HDD & also reinstalled a crazy version of windows. (for those that don't know, these are windows tools)
For all of the terribly impossible challenges it presented me with, it messed me up pretty bad, but it did have an upside.

It was 1999 and Y2K loomed and went as my mind was torn out of the matrix by shear force & over a dozen hours, my identity & everything i knew was scrambled by astral & out of body experiences coupled with visual & auditory hallucinations (Trump)- like nothing I had ever seen!
This happened abruptly, & is worthy of its own entire story, (this video actually came from a video i am working on about the trip) and then the rebuilding began.
Aside from the extreme visual and social distortion that I started to realize would never go away, & so, became my reality, I also was given a new ability to grasp very complex & very abstract ideas. Instead of needing to decode things, the matrix was laid bare, & like Neo I could just see the code running for what it truly was: the inside of atoms, the arc of an object pre & mid flight. I was given a more intricate perspective; It was really multiple perspectives at once & had to be, with all the additional information & obviously was overwhelming & almost impossible to cope with, much less understand. I still sometimes try to convince myself that it was just drugs, hallucinations that were just products of the multitude of cascades of neurotransmitters that were like fountains & fireworks in my soul; like it wasn't real, If it wasn't for the the following:
I was already kinda intelligent; ex: honors classes in high school making straight A's with little effort, but had struggled with what seemed like difficult math; trigonometry, and pre-calculus: this was because I typically gave up on anything that wasn't easy; that I couldn't be very good at with very little effort, so truthfully, I might have actually been able to be pretty good at math, if I had just been willing to concentrate focus and apply myself, but even if, I definitely couldn't have done any of this.
But,
while retaking MA121 (calculus for non-engineers) I guess I should back up & explain as briefly as possible: I had been suspended from NC State, in part due to an F, I had gotten in calculus for non-engineers (MA121) & the school has a policy where you are allowed one total grade replacement, so that if you retake the exact same class, they will replace the old grade with the newer better grade and after a year suspension, they allowed me to come back and so I retook this class.
I made bad grades in other classes too and the reason I was suspended for poor academic performance - GPA of 1.1.
This was mostly because I partied too much. The year that I was on suspension was the fall 99/spring 2000 and the trip was New Year's Eve of 99 so I had six months to somewhat get myself together and go back to school in fall of 2000, still struggling to talk, think & live, & still not aware of any possible new mathematical ability.

so Trying to replace the F, as I retook this class, MA121, the easiest math class at NC State, at any university, I think, I had made the previous semester with an eventual A+, I sat alone in my apartment, staring at the derivative of ln(x)=1/X for hours, still unaware I had a new ability to understand complex mathematics, I visualized a coordinate plane (the standard visual graphic relationship of X to Y -vertical and horizontal lines with numbers on them) that moved, and I could manipulate and interact with the relationship between the function and its derivative (or rate of change), and something clicked like NOTHING had ever clicked for me before: this was the beginning of my real understanding! I ended up making the A+ & my GPA shot from the abysmal 1.1 to 3.3!

I declared a triple major in mathematics, physics and economics and over the course of the next three years, well; to minor in a subject, you usually need 15 hours of coursework for that subject. Typically it's the first three introductory classes and two upper level classes and if you continue with 3-5 more upper level classes along with all of the off-subject classes to get a major.

I would make almost straight A's in the first 3 introductory through in-depth classes & 2 more upper level PY, MA, EC & CH.
(physics 1-3 & electromagnetism, quantum mechanics, thermodynamics - math/calculus 1-3 and differential equations 1 & 2 and chemistry 1-3 and then organic chemistry 1 & 2, which accidentally gave me a minor in chemistry, and I did all of this with little to no effort.
Double majoring is relatively rare, and a triple major is exceedingly rare, but if you are thirsty for knowledge, it's not as much more work as it sounds like but the point is that by the end, I had 196 hours and ended up with a pretty high GPA, only increasing each semester because of continuous A=4 inputs. I would have graduated, cum laude, with honors, had I not had to withdraw because of a medical/family issue during what would've been my last year.
I had a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ADD with anxiety, depression, Asperger's syndrome, which is now called autism, spectrum disorder or ASD, and PTSD, and it was the self-medication of all of these mental health conditions that for the next 20 years kept me in and out of recovery and addiction culminating in legal trouble, all of which the bad stuff ended in 2017 and I am now clean, well-adjusted & happily married 12 years with a 12-year-old son.
I elaborated on that long somewhat boring school story to explain how sure I am that the amazing & scary 'more' that opened up to me starting with the first day of this millennium was indeed the universe- it was a window to the real- not an aberration of it & I have learned more on some days than I thought I could in a lifetime & to say this:
I learned a lot of science and spirituality, including several near death experiences, and one actual death, all of which I am still here from, obviously; including a white light contact with God, spiritual experience that took my obsession to use drugs and allowed me to get clean originally and I've done a lot of very deep spiritual & psychological work in order to try to be & do better; to understand as much as possible. I began, and still practice, meditation & have extensive, hallucinogenic experience with the intentional purpose to expand my mind & to understand or experience extra-sensory stimuli or data etc & what I have come to believe is this:
science does not contradict God,
science, proves God.
And further we can call all of this a simulation, which makes it no less meaningful or real.
is your worldview any different if you call it a simulation created by God?
How are we to separate the words reality and simulation?
they are just words anyway.
it would look the same, if it was not but can you not call our reality
The empty space that is the reality that you know, meaning, the 99% of where every atom that exists that is empty space, it is just a field around a tiny, dense nucleus where particles exist with quantum properties I have come to understand pretty well:
Richard Feinman said to understand Quantum mechanics is to be insane and I would submit that I am at least partly insane.
I have never strove to be normal, whatever that is, but I am certainly Nuro-atypical, neuro-divergent.
But the fact that every single atom that makes up every single molecule of your body and everything you've ever touched is 99% empty space and large bodies made up of giant groups of these molecules attract each other with a force of which, we have very little understanding; I refer to gravity.
All of our laws of physics, then the insane laws of quantum mechanics, all of the mathematical constants like the speed of light, pi, euler's, hubbles, planks constant, the concept of infinity and in the years since I studied, academically, these things, groundbreaking, earth shattering discoveries have been made that the normal population, including myself, doesn't necessarily find out about, the obvious design of so much of what we know as reality, what many people call proof of the hand of God, Just substitute the word simulation for reality – the words mean the same thing, and so we are quite literally living in a simulation and quite literally our bodies/brains are what decode the simulation.